Entry 11

Darkness envelops me. My element. I can hid there, sleep there, trust it. In a metaphysical sense, it is my Christian soul, or what christians believe the soul is. Darkness is cool, clean, untouched, but light is burning, painful, dirty.

Trust is not something that comes easily, but darkness has mine. Nowhere else can one lose himself with so easy a way out. No where else can one hid from himself and the world. No where else can one go to heal after a wound.

No one can find me or hurt me. Light is much easier to be found in. In darkness, you are not found unless you want to be. Pain is soothed by darkness, as is the burning light of the sun.

Fear is not darkness. Trust it and it will love you. Love it and it will help you. Hide in it and it will protect you. Defy it and it will envelop you. Hate it and it will destroy you.

Wake up any morning with the sun in your eyes and tell me light is not painful. Darkness becomes a gift, something to love. You would sell your soul to be enveloped again by the darkness past. Nothing is as important as that darkness, nothing as sacred.

During the Rennisance, Cathedrals were built to let in the "Light of God". What God uses light as a form of expression? How is something so painful so. . . good?

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