We went down to the Grove in June, hurrah, hurrah!
We sang and hummed a mournful tune, hurrah, hurrah!
There are no fun chants that we sing,
We all are dying from ennui,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

We walked into the grove clockwise, hurrah, hurrah!
We slowed down as our dirge arised, hurrah, hurrah!
We stopped before we fell asleep,
the chant so dry it dragged our feet,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The Senior Druid he called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
We heard him call to earth and bowed, hurrah, hurrah!
He talked some more about the dirt
The ending phrase it was curt,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The Bard called out for inspiration, hurrah, hurrah!
It seemed that train had left the station, hurrah, hurrah!
He talks about it from a script,
We wish he'd memorize his shtick,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

We closed our eyes and looked inside, hurrah, hurrah!
Our hands were clasped our faces high, hurrah, hurrah!
We sought our center high and low
the SD led us blow by blow
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The Seer's voice rang in the Well, hurrah, hurrah!
she held aloft a silver bell, hurrah, hurrah!
Her voice it warbled through the air
And I was pulling out my hair
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The Fire blazed before the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
he read his words from an index card, hurrah, hurrah!
Inspiration hadn't struck,
I hoped to be hit by a truck,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The Tree it got the dumbest things, hurrah, hurrah!
A bit o' incense and water spring, hurrah, hurrah!
They threw it on the tree for show,
And didn't care where it did go,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Then someone began to speak, hurrah, hurrah!
'bout why we're here but it was weak, hurrah, hurrah!
We knew all about the holiday,
but she told us again anyway,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Next we told the nasties, "Go," hurrah, hurrah!
We called them names and told them so, hurrah, hurrah!
We probably shouldn't have called them that
Cuz they're commin' back with a baseball bat
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

The senior druid steped forward proud, hurrah, hurrah!
He raised his hands and called aloud, hurrah, hurrah!
The gatekeeper came to the grove,
We were all relieved that he showed,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Our fearless leader stood stock still, hurrah, hurrah!
He raised his hand and let it mill, hurrah, hurrah!
We rolled our eyes to watch the Gates
Open and flood all over the place,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

I plugged my ears as the Seer sounded, hurrah, hurrah!
The Ancestors called were most confounded, hurrah, hurrah!
We know they came from down to up
Hoping to shut our Seer up
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Crump'ling paper announced the Bard, hurrah, hurrah!
is memorization really that hard, hurrah, hurrah!
She called out to the Noble Ones
And I thought that we were undone,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Now again the leader came up, hurrah, hurrah!
The olive oil in a dixie cup, hurrah, hurrah!
He called out to the Shining Gods
and fire nearly burned his bod,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Recovering from his brush with fright, hurrah, hurrah!
Druid began the last summons that night, hurrah, hurrah!
He called out to the patron God
Of grapes and dance who's somewhat odd,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

What happened next I daren't repeat, hurrah, hurrah!
Let's just say we lost our feet, hurrah, hurrah!
We didn't know what we had done
but I seem to remember lots of fun,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Praises were sung when we all came to, hurrah, hurrah!
Suddenly we were two by two, hurrah, hurrah!
The praises continued for quite some time
I think someone sacrificed a mime
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

O! my knees are scuffed from kneeling here, hurrah, hurrah!
What caused my off'rings to all be beer, hurrah, hurrah!
Head is bowed in confused quiet, 
Back is aching from bacchic riot, 
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Our leader brought out a bowl with spout, hurrah, hurrah!
We chanted a dirge then poured it out, hurrah, hurrah!
Our final offering to the Powers
Was this sweet water and some flowers
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

Our Seer sat upon the ground, hurrah, hurrah!
And drew three runes with nary a sound, hurrah, hurrah!
Omens looked bad but they sounded good
I quietly snickered in my hood,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

A bowl was brought out with water sweet, hurrah, hurrah!
and everybody shuffled their feet, hurrah, hurrah!
We all got doused with holy spray,
And received our blessings on that day,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

As children yawned and adults sighed, hurrah, hurrah!
It was time to end and go inside, hurrah, hurrah!
The Powers were thanked in backwards order
The Gates were closed in hasty torture,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

We sang a dirge as we walked out, hurrah, hurrah!
And sweaty people hug and shout, hurrah, hurrah!
The reason we're here of course is the food
Why else would we sit through a ritual so rude,
And we all just rolled our eyes
to the skies
and hoped the rite would end.

See a dirty version, too!

Content © 2003 - 2004, Michael J Dangler
Updated on 07/28/2004. Site Credits / Email Me!
Basic site design from ADF.org
(Yes, I stole it!)