January 07, 2005 - Tsunami, Etc.

I admit. Like Joe, I have trouble conceptualizing the Tsunami. I feel disconnected. Obviously, I'm supposed to feel something. Hell, everyone reading this journal seems to be sickened, saddened, or stupified by the thing. About the only "S" word I haven't seen is "sleezy". I think I'm happy that no one feels "sleezy" about the Tsunami.

I gave up worrying about it, though. I don't think it's a failing as a human being. I don't think I'm less of a person. Heck, I don't even think that I'm expected to feel bad about the whole thing.

Is it because I didn't lose a loved one? Is it because I have a really dark sense of humour? Is it because I still haven't mailed out Christmas cards? Is it because I secretly think that these people were dirty and unwashed and could use a good bath? Is it because I'm actually a Republican?

I don't think it's any of those reasons, but then, I'm not known for understanding things.

In the end, I tried to care. I really did. I looked at the pictures, watched the news, and whistled a low whistle at the numbers, shaking my head at the initial offer of $35M of aid. I had all the outward signs of a genuinely caring person. Yet try as I might to care, I failed miserably.

What was my first thought when I heard about the earthquake? "Isn't that near Krakatoa? I'd like to visit there someday." What about when I heard about the tidalwave? "Didn't they expect that?"

I wonder if this is something that makes me not as good a candidate for clergy. I mean, you know I still haven't found that vocation. I wonder if maybe this is a sign that I don't have one?

I'm sorry, my friends. I just don't feel it.

Think of me what you must.

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