Turkey Day Ritual

A ritual in 5 parts.

Setup: Make Thanksgiving plans. This is crucial, because you might have to modify the ritual a bit in order to use it. Step 4 is the only requirement that is time-bound, and it must be followed.

Make a point at Thanksgiving dinner or to a friend that you know is wrong. Make a strong case for it, and describe the benefits of your particular view in depth. When called on it, smile, blush (if you can manage it), and admit you were wrong. Then declare the person who called you on it the Grand High Poobah of Turkey-Table Wisdom, and offer them something half-eaten off your plate as a prize.

(This part of the ritual defines us as fallible, stupid people who are generally worthless, and who make mistakes.)

Tell everyone something about you that is true, but that you've been afraid to say for a long time. We all have something, so out it!

(This re-affirms our trust in ourselves, and helps to create a more true reflection of who we are to the people around us.)

Pass on something that you usually enjoy doing. If you usually play a game or do something active say you ate too much turkey; if you usually fall asleep on the couch watching football, do the dishes instead. Another option is to make up some excuse and have to leave immediately. If you usually leave immediately, you should stay and chat with Aunt Agnes about the colour pink and how it would look in your son's room. The point is to do something you hate to do.

(Not only is a change in routine a good, wonderful thing, but it helps develop focus when you go onto the next part of the rite, which will be very enjoyable.)

Time: 9:45 PM EST
(because 9-4=5, and 5*5=25, and 25 is halfway to 50, which is not only 10 5's, but is also 5 away from 55, which because 55 is 2 digits is three digits when you add the 2, and thus relates back to 23, which is 2+3=5.)

Excuse yourself to the bathroom if you must, but the timing of this is absolutely critical. You may have to call the local time and temperature to get it right. If you're getting "help" on this, you might choose to let your partner (or partners) in on the joke, though if they're in on it, they have to orgasm at the same time you do.

(This part of the ritual makes us feel really, really good, and builds a connection that transcends geography.)

Bask in the warmth of the orgasm, and simply listen for Eris' voice. Believe me, She'll talk to you. You can go on to have more orgasms if you so choose, but make sure you listen for Her.

(This part of the ritual makes us feel useful and whole. It re-builds the ego through the knowledge that someone, be they Goddess, lover, or just our selves, still finds us important.)

Flush the evidence, and write everything down. Every detail, from what major lie you told at the dinner table, to what food you offered as a prize, to what it felt like when you orgasmed. Most importantly, write down what Eris said.

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