De Naturae Sandwichii:

Sandwiches, by their nature, are simply bread and filling. But what turns the bread and filling into a sandwich?

Is it merely a pair of bread slices with something in between it? Indeed, is a pair even what is required?

If a sandwich must be a pair of bread slices, then where does that leave submarine sandwiches? And if we count subs as sandwiches, then is a hotdog a sandwich?

I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes, Heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes. . .

And what of open-faced sandwiches? Can a single slice of bread with some random "filling" truly be considered a sandwich? Is the open-faced sandwich an abomination before God?

We are also forced to face the ugly reality of the "fad-diet" sandwich. How can anyone discuss sandwiches without bread? Yet menues across the nation advertise such "healthy" alternatives! There is a special place in hell reserved for mister Adkins, I am sure. This sin of removing bread from sandwiches must rank up there with fence-sitters and flatterers, if not higher.

But if there can be a sandwich without bread, then can there not be a bread replacement? It has been suggested that one could easily make such things as a "supermodel sandwich", if one were to obtain the correct filling. If someone can provide the models, I will sacrifice myself for the good of science and become the filling.

There is a certain zen about spreading mayo or butter or jelly over bread. In placing the meat and the cheese just so, we find our own center. Adding just the right amount of mustard or lettuce, or slicing a tomato just right can lead us to a spiritual place.

Embrace the sandwich. . . Each one is a new and different experience, and each should be approached with reverance and respect. No matter whether it's roasted, toasted, or grilled, or simply plain, there is much to be said for a sandwich.

Content © 2003, Michael J Dangler
Updated on 11/14/2003. Site Credits / Email Me!
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