I Know Kung-Fu, a dream:

Last night, for my second dream, I was Bruce Campbell, as Elvis, as a detective. I'm carrying a long-barreled revolver that I don't know how to use, and I'm chasing a bunch of bad guys who know kung-fu. I know they aren't ninjas, because they don't dress like ninjas.

Well, I have this hottie that I'm working with (of course!), and she knows her way around the detective trade better than I do (of course!).

So, anyway, there's a hazy memory of trap doors and the kung-fu bad guys are using them to hide. Well, we find out that they're using a warehouse converted to a dance club (will the cheezy stereotypes never end?), and we find the trap door, and decide to wait until the morning, when all the dancers are gone.

I fall asleep on a chair, dropping my revolver on the ground. The hottie is off getting backup (kung-fu good guys, of course), and I wake up to the sound of rain. It's just starting to rain, and the walls of the dance club are open, so it's really more like a shelter than a warehouse. The roof is made of tin (you know, the rippled stuff that makes lots of noise when it rains), and I step out just outside of the roof, where I can feel rain falling on me.

It seems that the roof was covered in acid, though, so while I'm standing just over the edge, the rain makes the acid fall, and I get a huge drop right on my shoulder. It's yellow, and it starts to eat through my jean jacket. So I pull it off, but not before it burns a hole through the jacket and my shoulder gets a bit burned. So I step a good ways away from the building, just as the hottie comes back with the good guy kung-fu fighters.

Well, I hang out a moment to let the rainwater dissipate the acid, and then head back in. I grab a bat because I can't find my gun, and all the kung-fu good guys have swords. The hottie asks where my gun is, and I tell her that I like the kung-fu guys' style, so I'm going to go in with a "sword" too. She rolls her eyes.

I get down the trap door first, and I sneak around a bit. I eventually get to where I can see the kung-fu bad guys, and they're interrogating the guy we want to save (of course!). For some reason, this tiny underground room is lit by a fire, and so everyone is illuminated by flickering lights.

One of the bad kung-fu guys says something wrong, and the leader guts him (of course!). My baseball bat has turned into an axe now, and so I go in swinging. One of the bad guy kung-fu fighters has my gun, but he doesn't know how to use it, so I get it back.

Amazingly, though, I never shoot anyone.

I run by another good guy kung-fu fighter and we give each other a pre-determined sign to show we're on the same side. We hit ourselves in the chest with our fists.

What follows, I assume, is massive ass-kicking of bad kung-fu guys, but I can't say for sure. After all, I woke up.

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