Entry 20

OA ordeal last weekend, 4 people from T-222 go through, and it rained.

Gods, did it ever rain. My stuph stayed dry, but When I went back for it, I needed to take down my hammok. Soaked to the bone (ignore the cliché), I strived to remove a boline. Suddenly, I noticed a. . . well. . . beep.

I ignored it, and momentarily the beep repeated itself, as if trying to gain attention. I looked about and, seeing nothing, returned to my battle. Then again.

This time I saw it. A fawn (not the pan Style), not 20 ft. (6.096 m) away. It "beeped" a few more times, Then ran toward me, stopping just 5 ft. (1.523 m) away from me. There it "beeped" a few more times (redundant, No?) and then bounced back to its original hiding spot, "beeped)" yet a few more times, and bounded away.

John had a revelation from his God, and this was my revelation from my gods. John interpreted his, and I shall now interpretate mine. This is not Gospel! It is meerly my interpretation of the events. Take heed in the previous and later warnings!

I spent the entire day doing things contrary to my religion. I had cut trees, etc., and felt the rain was my fault. Likely it was. The deer was one of the following:

The deer symbolized me, coming so close to my gods, then turning and abandoning them.

It symbolized my gods, turning back on me just when I had fallen for them

It symbolized Nature, turning her back 

on me permanently. (end list)

The worst is that before this, I had done something . . . contrary . . . or (paradoxily) uncontrary . . . that I could not return. I threatened the Immortal gods. I prohisized my destruction of them because they would not forgive me. (Is this what makes Christianity so strong, the ability to forgive forever the most heinous crimes?) I had kneeled and asked forgiveness or death. I was granted neither. The gods use me as a chess piece, moving me here and there, forcing me to do their bidding.

I broke the cycle. this is what they told me. . . what that means and how I did this I do not know. Regret, hatred, love, forgiveness, spite, anger, caring. All those are the emotions I feel.

Though I am no longer connected to the gods, I will still peform the summer solstice ceremony (I will correct spelling later, maybe).

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